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July 21, 2013 / rescueninja

Surgical History

Me: What surgeries have you had in the past?
Patient’s husband: Well she had both eyes operated on once when her diabetes was leaking out into them. They had to go in and cauterize it.

July 1, 2013 / rescueninja

No, Not At All

Patient with abdominal pain comes in, is curled in the fetal position on the ER stretcher. Family member begins questioning me on what could be going on.

Me: Well, we won’t really know a whole lot until we start getting some tests back.
Family: Oh, are there a lot of vital organs in your abdomen or something…?

June 9, 2013 / rescueninja

One Of These Things Is Not Like The Other

Doc: Have you taken anything for your sinuses?
Patient: Oh, just some antibiotics.
Doc: …What did you take?
Patient: Some Tylenol and when that didn’t work I took some Ibuprofen.

May 6, 2013 / rescueninja

Chief Complaint of the Night

As written on the sign in form:

“Feever and kidny”

April 22, 2013 / rescueninja

Chief Complaint of the Night

“I was at the Golden Corral and this guy dropped a bowl of ice cream on my shoulder.”

April 19, 2013 / rescueninja


Please for the love of all that is holy tell me why 55 year old with a cardiac history and chest pain relieved by nitro gets a brushoff and a quick discharge while the 30 year old frequent flyer with chronic pain, drama-queen brand fibromyalgia and generalized body aches gets the entire gamut including pelvic exam, a head CT, lumbar puncture, IV antibiotics for a nonexistent infection, and admission to observation?

I’m gonna go out on a limb here and say something is very wrong with this picture.

April 18, 2013 / rescueninja

Pro Tip:

If you haven’t urinated in four days…

… that’s bad.

Yes, you should be concerned. And no, please don’t cry to me. Next time be proactive about your health. If your body normally does something every few hours and then you go quite a bit of time without, why would you not realize something was wrong?